The Mock Turtle :“It’s all his fancy, that; he hasn’t got no sorrow, you know.”

The Mock Turtle has slowly sobbed his way over to you to raise a question of authenticity. As we listen to the poor leatherback’s lament (which takes a good deal of patience, might I add), we learn that he once was a real turtle. We never do discover what happened to turn our dear slowpoke into an imitation of his old self, but the truth that lies before us now is that he is, indeed, no longer the real deal. That’s enough to make anyone feel a little low. Of course, the sorrow is a farce as well, as The Gryphon informs us: “It’s all his fancy, that; he hasn’t got no sorrow, you know.”

So, it would seem that there is some sort of artificiality to your query. Either you, someone you know, or the whole circumstance itself is lacking the inestimable quality of authenticity. Notice the connection between The Mock Turtle’s forlorn state and his lack of verity. You may sense, as well, a melancholy that clouds your own circumstances.

The Mock Turtle may be giving us a clue to finding where the authenticity went as he tells his story of his childhood days of school. Most of us go through great storm and stress as we become adults, and we frequently lose important parts of ourselves as we deal with childhood challenges. For whatever reasons we encounter, we frequently feel it is unsafe to express our true nature. One of the important tasks of becoming an actualized adult is to remember those essential parts of ourselves that got lost in the process of growing up.

Another insight that comes from our hard-shelled harbinger of happiness lost is that when we are learning (as when we are in school), we are open and growing. As soon as we close the book, convincing ourselves that we’ve “got it,” we have also shut the door on the growth process, and you know what that means. If we aren’t busy growing, then we are busy dying, and that is truly cause for grief.

It’s time to open the book on who you are again. Allow yourself to remember what you once were as a child, calling back all parts of yourself that have been closed off with the delusion of being completed, or the illusion of being unsafe when authentically present. Now that you are an adult, and you call the shots, you can allow what was once shamed, ignored, or scrutinized into non-existence, to blossom and grow. Don’t worry, those parts are still there. They might need a little dusting off and oiling up, but with a bit of gentle use, they’ll be running like new in no time.

Meditation: Give yourself plenty of time for this one. You might even want to give yourself several sessions as this is such a powerful and beneficial practice. In a comfortable position, allow yourself to think back to when you were young. What did you love to do? What gave you special joy? Just focus on the first thing that comes to you. Really allow yourself to step as fully into the experience as you can. Notice how you feel. Notice what strengths show up. What talents. You probably didn’t notice them when you were young, but as an adult looking back, you can recognize what your gifts were. It may have been a curiosity in how things operate, or a strong intuition, or maybe you had a talent for physical activities or the arts. Maybe it was something you got in trouble for, but inside of it lies a super-power. Allow yourself to explore what was once vibrant in yourself. Once you have that image, and have taken the time to feel it as thoroughly as possible, give yourself time to write, draw, do further meditation or some other practice to bring that gift into the present. Spend some time creating space for this gift in your life. How can you express this talent now? Give yourself all the time you need. This reclaiming of the self is a rich practice that can connect you with parts of yourself you didn’t know existed, but parts that are essential to a deeply rewarding life.